Gratitude (and fast-acting karma!)

[This blog entry was handwritten so as to capture my mood of the moment and is now being transcribed exactly as written into the technological realm and released into the web!]

It's my personal belief that kind words and appreciation are never wasted. They're never too late to be expressed, and when we are so moved, we should say our thanks and give our praise. 

So, this summer [less than a month ago] I read this book that was kind of incredible- I mean it was a novel- not unlike the chick-lit, beach reads I'm fond of- - but this one, for some reason, was so much better to me than all the rest. And so, on a whim, I decided to write the author a piece of fan main (sent to her agent.) I've never written fan mail before- mostly because I always figured it doesn't get delivered...it just ends up in a bin or a stack to be read by publishers' interns...but for some reason, I decided that this one time, it mattered- this lovely author earned my praise, and I'll be darned- I would send it! I didn't have any expectations when I sent it- I think I figured *absolute* best case scenario was that she would read the letter with her own eyes. Actual outcome?

This package-- which while I write this, is still unopened. It's return-addressed the author's home address- which leads me to believe it is in fact from her. [side note- is her handwriting awesome or what?]

I've had this unopened in my possession for almost 3 hours now. I wanted to write this post before I open it so that I could try and capture my emotion. It's silly- because maybe there's simply a note that says "thank you for your fan mail." But my emotion in this moment is one of elation- - I kind of have butterflies and my throat feels slightly constricted- I think it's because my heart expanded and is now overflowing with joy to the point that the neighboring organs are slightly squashing beneath my elation! I think this feeling, subconsciously, is why I'm such a proponent of snail mail- because when someone opens that mailbox their first thought just has to be, "look- I matter!" And the people I write do matter to me. They matter so much that an e-mail, text, phone call, or facebook post wouldn't prove their worth- only a handwritten letter would suffice. Here's to elated moods, abounding joy, and how special we all are, that we are so loved that people take the time and effort to show how much we matter. 

xoxo

Rachel 

Watching the World Wake Up

Let it just be known- I'm not really a morning person. I mean, don't get me wrong, I can be pleasant enough in the morning- but how I ended up in a job where I'm generally up by 5:20 A.M. 3 days a week, and 6:15 the rest of the days is somewhat beyond me... Because in the morning, I feel like I'm running on low batteries- I'm unenergized and groggy. I'm quiet. I'm slower-moving. And if you need me to be responsive beyond "yes, no or okay" well then you better wait a while. 

That being said, I think one of my favorite things is watching the world around me wake up. One of the days here in Nantucket I woke up at 6:00 and drove down into town so I could do my run down there. Now, let's be real, my attention when running is so focused on "one foot in front of the other" and "don't stop breathing" that I don't notice as much as I wish I could. But, when I parked downtown there weren't any cars, really. A couple breakfast spots were open- but the people had yet to arrive to eat. There weren't any other runners (cobblestones I suppose are a slight deterrent). And the bikers had not yet begun their days. But when I stopped running about 30 mins later, the whole scene had begun to change. More cars were driving through the quaint, one-way roads. The Bean (my favorite cafe on the island) had a line of people waiting for their dose of caffeine. An older man sat on the bench on Centre St. reading a newspaper while sipping coffee. The light had changed. It was as if the whole town was gently rolling out of bed with a bright eyed and busy-tailed "good morning" greeting just for me! And I love that. It almost feels like I'm watching something secret- most people miss the wake up and only see a scene as what it is when they arrive. 

This morning I'm having another morning where I feel like I'm the first to greet the day and bid it good morning. I sit in the family room at 5:00 A.M. looking out glass doors (on the second floor). At first the sky is dark like night and I hear only the sounds of the clickety clack of my keyboard and my own quiet breathing. Not a sound echoes through the house. But as I sit and type and think, the dark moves up into the sky as a rainbow of light begins to spread, beginning at the horizon and working it's way to stretch into the sky offering new light and color. And with the day come new sounds. I hear stirring downstairs- someone's awake and having their own welcome into the day. I hear the footsteps and realize it's time to share the morning- the sound and smell of coffee brewing, the quiet conversations beginning to stir downstairs. And the whole world is waking up around me. Good morning, World. 

Books on books on books

I'm in a rare mood of feeling slightly philosophical. [Eww- apologies all around!]. There's this song by Snow Patrol called "Chasing Cars" and one of the lines is "those three words are said too much and not enough" referring to "I love you". [In case that was not automatically assumed]. At first that line used to bother me- surely something can't exist in both excess and scarcity. But that's not true. That line specifically, is a truth. We say "I love you" nonchalantly- to practical strangers, to acquaintances. We say it sarcastically. We say it genuinely and we say it because sometimes it's the thing to say. We say it to smooth over arguments, to end a phone call, and we say it as a call and response- [because if you don't respond to 'I love you' with 'I love you too' then you're kind of a jerk.] And so yeah, we say it in excess. But it's also true that we don't say it enough- someone we love passes away and we would give anything to be able to hold their hand and tell them we love them, because maybe they didn't know. Or we find out someone was suffering and we wish we could have offered them the comfort of our love. Or we find ourselves in a personal tragedy and just wish that above all else we knew we were loved. We need to hear it, and for one reason or another, we sometimes don't. But that's all irrelevant. And my following thought is not at all deep- I just wanted to set the stage for how something can be both overabundant, and in serious deficiency. 

Because my not so deep thought is that I think the problem we (or maybe just I) face is that there is both too much and not enough time in the day. See there's so much time, that I can sleep far longer than I need to, do a full-time job, exercise, shower, read, write letters, socialize with friends, and still have hours to spend watching series on Netflix, going for walks, stargazing, and finding endless ways to waste time. And yet, I lack the time I think I need to take online courses, to learn about investments, to study another language, to catch up with as many family and friends as I should, and sometimes, frankly, I lack the time required to simply maintain my sanity- because there's no private time, no separation, no opportunity to recover. There's no time for naps or for shopping. There's an ever-existent to-do list with items that never get checked off. And it's torture. I find myself lying awake sometimes filled with this anxiety over the fact that I have so much to do and can't carve out the time required to do these things. 

I know I haven't mentioned this, but I'm currently in Nantucket with the family for the month. (I'll be here 10 more days before I head out to go to a wedding.) Anyhow, one of my favorite things about Nantucket is that I read very very much compared to the rest of my year- with so much beach lounging, pool lounging, and time when the kids have to read- I read read read. I've read 3 books in the past 2 weeks and brought 4 or so more- and today I finished an absolutely wonderful book- ["The Fault in Our Stars"] and I was just thinking that there are *so* many books that I want to read or that I should read- and every single day there are more being published. If I started right now, and read books 8 hours a day, I would still never finish all the books I should and want to read before I die! (And we're talking living a very very long life here people!) I mean that's just books. God forbid I wanted to do something meaningful like volunteer, or make change happen in the world, would there ever be enough time? I don't know how we cope with that? But one of the lines that is repeated throughout the Fault in Our Stars is "Live your best life today." I think adopting that as a daily life mantra would be a good place to start. We will never accomplish all our goals, and to aim low so as to be able to check off all our to-do items would be a disservice to ourselves. So it is only fair that we push ourselves with all our might- knowing we will fall short, but somehow managing to accomplish greatness in the efforts. I don't have enough time to read all the books in the world- but I have enough time to read a little every day. And I want to read more, which means since I can't make more time in the day, I'll have to re-attribute my time- traffic time might become book-on-tape time. Who knows. 

At the end of the day, we put our time into the things that matter to us. We show what's important to us everyday. So let's put our time where it matters. 

~Rachel~

running, with you

Hey there, 

Sorry- I know it's been ages since I've posted. And so much has happened that I never even informed you about- a spring break trip down to NC and SC to visit friends and my sister- my parents and brother visiting DC- my life. (Oh, btw, I've been baking and cooking up a storm, and haven't passed a recipe your way in ages!)

But, friends, family, kind internet strangers- I've been busy. See, among all these adventures, as well as my normal life, I jumped on board with my dear friends Amy and Mary, and we hatched a plan. (In fact I bussed up to Philly to pull an all-nighter and plan with them before my parents grabbed me and embarked on a journey back down to DC.)

So here it is- you know that I've been working hard towards better fitness- specifically through running and training to improve said running. Well, my friend Amy is a former cross-country star who had to cut way back as a result of back injuries. And my friend Mary, though she doesn't have a background in running, is an energetic, challenge-loving girl, who decided to train for the hot chocolate 5k simply because I asked. Together, we decided something- that maybe our running could mean something beyond us. Maybe it isn't just about our personal goals and journeys- it could be for more. What if our steps meant something for someone else?

Well, after much brainstorming and preparation, we have launched "running, with you". For the next ~7 weeks, we will be training and running all over the place (multiple cities, and countries!) until we reconvene in Philadelphia on June 29th to run the Freedom Run. But we aren't running for ourselves- we're running for two charities, because we want to make a difference- because we are daring to dream that we can change the world, if only a little, through our running. So, now you have a new task- in fact, a new blog to follow! Amy, Mary, and I all contribute- you will have lots of fun posts to read- you can follow each of our individual journeys over the next 7 weeks as well as our collective posts. 

We have set some lofty fundraising goals- we hope to raise $5,000 for each charity before our race on June 29th. If you would consider contributing, we would appreciate it- but even if you're not interested in financially supporting us, we hope you'll follow along with us on this journey anyhow and keep up with our blog! (Spoiler: you get a delicious vegetarian recipe every Monday! and almost-daily posts...which is more than you're getting here) 

We also hope that you'll pass on our story and our blog to your social circles, so that others might jump on board and contribute to our cause. We can't accomplish this alone, but with you, who knows- we might just reach new heights. So, check us out! 

Thanks! More updates on my life coming soon!

xoxo
Rachel 

Our "running, with you" blog
http://runningwithyou146.tumblr.com/

The Results Are In!

Okay, I know I know, it's been two weeks and maybe we were expecting a quicker update- well the sponsors put pictures up on their website that are taken during the race, so I was waiting to see if we'd have any winners for photographic accompaniment. My running face is less attractive than we might have hoped though, and so we're going to post on circulating those any further. So instead you just get the afters: 

Mary and I with the giant inflatable hot chocolate mug

And of course- showing off our muscles 

All right, so I will recap the day- we leave Mary's house at 6:00 AM (special shout out thank you to her lovely housemate Megan, who woke up at 5:45 on a Sunday morning to drive us there so we could avoid public transportation!). We arrived at the museum (where the race began) at about 6:20 and determined why it was that the freebie was a fleece and not a t-shirt...because the fact that it is Spring means nothing to the weather makers, so we had to stand out in I believe 39 degree cloudiness until start time at 7:15. (Fortunately we found refuge in the merchandise tent where we warmed up while waiting for the race to start and only moved to the concourse at 7:05. GREAT CALL!)

Five minutes before the race begins I turn to Mary and I say, "Okay. Goals: finish in less time than my last race, and don't walk a single step." She replies, "Goals: Keep breathing, survive, and finish the race". [Mary falsely led me to believe that this run would be a challenge to her...LIES!] Standing in place waiting, music goes into my ears, and we're off. 

Now, I have no internal pacer- in that I think some people have this ability where without a watch or timed music or any gauge they still know their general pace. For me, that's not the case. I couldn't tell you if I'm running a 10 minute pace or a 15 minute pace. People are passing you and you're passing others. I always wait to the first mile and check my time to see if I'm on track. 

Now at this particular race, they released the runners in waves to help spread out the runners. So they released a new wave every 3 mins. And we were in the fourth wave. So, one of the happiest and then suddenly worst moments of the race is as follows: this course is one where you run half the distance and then turn around and run back the other half (not a loop in other words). So we're running along, I've lost track of time, I'm listening to music and reminding myself to breathe steadily and not go too hard in the first mile. I have no idea how far we've gone when all of a sudden a quick stream of runners is whooshing by us in the other direction. Now, when I see people going in the other direction, my thought is always, "they've turned around! That means we must be almost halfway!" And then the reality follows a few seconds later- they were released 9 minutes before us and are keeping a 6 minute/mile pace. Aka- we've got a *long* way to go. 

But, despite the colder-than-I-prefer-to-run-in weather, and an earlier-than-I-prefer-to-run start time, and a chocolate fondue finishers mug when I've given up chocolate for lent- the race really was wonderful. The course stretched along the river so we had a beautiful view. It was really, maybe my favorite race to date (not just because of the great company!). Oh and for the results: well, I didn't take a single step of walking during this 3.1 mile excursion. So check mark for that goal. And below is my updated overall list or races and results:

DATE                                                     RACE                      TIME

7/4/2013				Firecracker 5k		39'32"
7/14/2013				Biggest Loser 5k		37'36"
9/7/2013				9-11 Memorial 5k		36'33"
10/12/2013				Amnesty 5k		34'30"
4/6/2014				Hot Chocolate 5k		32'18"

So all goals were met. Who knew that that's actually something that can happen? 

Until next time, 

Rachel 

Run Forrest, Run.

One of the first "real runners" I ever came to know was a woman who I babysat for who lived down the street. I remember one time when I was in high school she called me up to see if I could come over and watch her kids for an hour so she could go for a "quick jog". She had precious kids, and of course I said yes. So we played and hung out for exactly an hour, after which the mom came into the front of the house, sat down on the floor a sweaty mess, huffing and puffing and says, "ugh. Only seven miles today." 

Only?... SEVEN?!?!?!  Sorry, what? Let's be real people, what sort of psycho casually runs 7 miles after a full day, and then feels bad about it? And in an hour? This is a world I did not understand, and wanted no part in...

I don't know why or where it came from, but last summer I got the idea that I wanted to run a 5k. In fact, I wanted to run multiple 5ks- I wanted to improve from each 5k to the next, and I wanted to get to the point where there would be absolutely *no* walking during the race. Just a straight 5k run (3.1 miles, in case you were unaware). And so last July, the 5ks began...

And here are the results to date: 

DATE 7/4/2013				RACE Firecracker 5k		TIME 39'32"
7/14/2013				Biggest Loser 5k		37'36"
9/7/2013				9-11 Memorial 5k		36'33"
10/12/2013				Amnesty 5k		34'30"

You may note that it has been many moons since a race has happened...well, that's because I don't like running and I don't like the cold- so the chances of me running in the cold are slim to none. [Closer to the "none"]. But my friends, that all will change this weekend, when yours truly goes up to Philadelphia to run the hot chocolate 5k with Mary. For the past month or so I've been putting a lot of effort into running, so we shall see if that pays off. 

It's funny. I've always been someone who hates running. To me running has always kind of been one of those things that really seems to highlight and lay out all of my insecurities in public display. Like "hey, I'm slow, and weak, I'm out of shape and I'm going to quit- so now everyone watch while I do it!" I mean really, what grace or joy is there in running a short distance only to find that your lungs are near a point of explosion, your muscles have exhausted and you're probably sheer moments from cardiac arrest? 

Well, it's probably slightly less excruciating for those in better shape than I am, but I think I'm starting to be on to something. I probably run outdoors about 2-3 times a week in distances that range from 1 mile up to 2.5 miles just depending on how I'm feeling and how much I want to push it. And regardless of the distance or my pace I'd say the first 5-7 minutes suck. Every single run. They suck and I want to stop. It's that same feeling- my legs feel tired when I've barely begun and my lungs feel like they're begging for more air and my heart really picks up the pace. For those first 5-7 minutes I feel like my whole body is yelling at me and begging me to stop. It throws every punch it's got to make me abandon the run and just walk. And for those 5-7 minutes all I can think is, "I have to stop. This sucks. I'm quitting. I'm walking home. I'm done." But for the past month or so, I've done this crazy thing where I don't quit after seven minutes. I feel the tiredness in my muscles and I feel my lungs and heart working in overdrive and I keep going anyhow. And after those 7 minutes all of a sudden something happens- I don't mean that metaphorically. Something physically changes in my body- my muscles stop feeling tired my heart rate steadies and my breathing, while quickened, becomes controlled. And my mind stops begging me to stop. It's as if all of a sudden my brain and body simultaneously say, "Oh, you weren't kidding? We're doing this? Okay then, let's go." And then I go for another mile and a half. And the feeling you get from continuing long after every part of you has wanted to quit- the feeling of overcoming your own self-doubts- well to me, that's the runner's high that everyone seems to rave about. Now, I don't think I can be classified as someone who loves to run- but hey, maybe I'm on my way?

Even if not, I'm on my way to Philly to run again, with two main goals in mind- to not walk at all during this race, and to beat that 34'30" time. So wish me luck and I'll report back next week!

~Rachel~

There's coffee, and then there's coffee

Perhaps we're familiar with the MTV show True Life- it was a documentary-style show that would follow teens who had some characteristic. For example, there may have been True Life: I have OCD, or True Life: I'm a Teen Mom. This is absolutely irrelevant, but if I were going to appear in an episode, it would have been True Life: I May be a Coffee Addict. I have a love hate relationship with coffee in that I love it, always. Anytime of day. Any brand. Any location. And I hate when it's not part of my life. (Like when I decide I'm too dependent and do a 2 wk-1 month caffeine cleanse and eliminate it from my life...those are the hard times.)

But really, at the risk of sounding too cheesy, coffee is more than a beverage. I mean, let's examine the exhibit below and decide for yourself if it's 'just a drink'

It's not. Coffee, for me, is, yes, a delicious beverage, but it's a lot more than that. Coffee is college all-nighters. Coffee is every morning in Spain (and most afternoons). Coffee is the reward of a two-mile hike into town here in DC (unless it's a Monday in which case, it's the 7-11 substitution for a bit of heaven...so maybe Mondays aren't the best coffee day!) Coffee is mornings at home in NH, talking for hours. It's Christmas morning. Coffee is sitting on the couch all afternoon with my french press brewing, with ads strewn everywhere and ABC family movies playing the background of the day. Coffee is reunions with friends. It's interviews, it's a post-workout treat, or a pre-workout motivator. Coffee is a time-out from the day- a chance to take a breath and reflect. Coffee is happiness. Coffee is joy. 

Why ramble about coffee, you wonder? Well this morning I decided to do my 2-mile trek for coffee from Oby Lee, one of the *greatest* coffee-roasters/cafes I have discovered. (They lure me in with their offering flavored brews on weekends only!) Unfortunately, I was about halfway there and had a plan change, and had to reroute and head home earlier than anticipated. So, slightly dismayed that my flavored coffee would not be happening today, I meandered into the Dunkin Donuts on the way back home. I get into line, and patiently wait. Then, this guy walks in and he's wearing a neon yellow shirt. I smile, (half because I always smile at people and half because I'm thinking of my friend at the gym who always say that neons make him "ten percent faster and five percent stronger") and then I look forward and just stand there waiting for the line to move. He says, "excuse me, are you getting coffee?" To which I want to be like, "uh...DUHHHHH!" but instead, I more politely offer a smile and say, "yes, I am." To which, he responds by producing what is the equivalent of a Golden Ticket in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.... a coupon for a free coffee- a free *large* coffee. And he wants nothing in return. He gifts me this joyous little gem, and I'm just dumbstruck and in awe. I graciously accept after just overflowing with thanks and telling him he made my morning. That boy wins first place in the Random Act of Kindness category. 

And so of all the things that coffee is, today coffee is gratitude and appreciation. Today coffee is the perfect start to a perfect day.